9 Characteristics of a Godly Friendship
In the Bible, we find many references to friendship. God has made it clear in his word that having the right friends in our lives is not just good but essential, especially regarding our Christian walk.
But how do we know what to look for in someone when seeking a godly friendship? What characteristics does a godly friend have? Let's dive into Scripture and find out.
The righteous choose their friends carefully. (Proverbs 12:26)
1. Encouraging
Encouragement is an essential characteristic of a godly friendship. God's word reminds us of the importance of choosing our words wisely and speaking only about things that build others up, not tearing them down. So, whether a friend delivers terrible news, constructive criticism, or compliments, they should do so encouragingly. None of us can overcome life's struggles and achieve spiritual victory in our own strength. We need each other. We need words that will encourage us as we live out our faith.
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25)
Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. (Romans 15:2)
2. Forgiving
How many relationships have you seen fall apart because one or both parties could not forgive? Unfortunately, these relational rifts happen all too often, which is why forgiveness is crucial to a godly friendship. None of us are morally perfect. A godly friend realizes this and understands that neither they nor their friend is sinless and without blame.
Sooner or later, some problem will arise between you and your friend. There's no avoiding it. One of you may make a mistake causing the other to feel hurt. What will matter most is your response. Will it be bitterness and separation or forgiveness and reconciliation? Remember, God has forgiven us! In this way, let us embrace our friends with the same kind of forgiveness he has shown us.
On the same note, a godly friend does not bring up past offenses or talk about them to others. Instead, they will let the past be the past.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13)
Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9)
3. Helpful
Whether lending a physical hand or sharing wise advice, a godly friend is always willing to help those close to them. A helpful heart is a sure mark of a godly friendship.
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice. (Proverbs 27:9)
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
4. Kind
No one wants an uncaring or mean friend. On the contrary, we want to surround ourselves with those whose words and actions are marked by kindness and compassion. A godly friend is someone who models God's kindness to others.
Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty. (Job 6:14)
5. Reliable and Loyal
What's the benefit of having an unreliable friend? Not much. If you can't take someone at their word or trust that they will be there for you in times of need, what can be said of the quality of that friendship? Trying to sustain a friendship with someone whose reliability and loyalty are in question will only lead to heartache. They will continually let you down.
Of course, no one is perfect, and even godly friends will let you down from time to time. But someone who has shown themselves to be consistently unreliable should cause you to rethink the value you place on that relationship. A godly friend's respect and love for you is seen in their commitment to you, especially during times of hardship.
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)
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6. Wise
As Christians, we must be careful with whom we trust and surround ourselves with. What we choose to expose ourselves to will significantly impact our outlook on life. This includes thewords and actions of those we associate with daily and their negative influence on our lives.
It's important to surround ourselves with people who will do the right thing, speak wholesome words, give wise advice, and point us to Jesus in every circumstance. A wise friend is truly a treasure.
Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. (Proverbs 13:20)
7. Avoids Gossip
We've all seen and may have been part of a group of people that love to gossip. Your relationship with these types of friends seems to revolve around talking about others and sharing juicy details of others' lives, even making up rumors or speaking ill of others.
Getting pulled into conversations where rumors about the lives of others are shared is easy. It's fun at first, and it is easy to find yourself gossiping, especially when immersed in this environment. However, as we know, a godly friend is encouraging and kind, two virtues that have no place for gossip.
If someone is gossiping about someone else, they will surely talk about you when you're not around. So make friends with persons who refrain from participating in rumor-sharing and gossip.
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. (Proverbs 16:28)
8. Is Not Easily Angered
Surrounding yourself with someone who is quick-tempered is a recipe for disaster. It's only a matter of time before they lose their cool with you and create an unnecessary argument. And like the Bible verse says below, you may become like them.
Look for a friend who is generally understanding, forgiving, and has an even temper to work things out calmly. We can never convince our friends to see our point of view by arguing with them, and we never change our opinion on a topic when another person demands it. Arguing leads to division and eventually separates us from others.
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared. (Proverbs 22:24-25)
9. Loving
Perhaps the most significant characteristic of a godly friendship is love. If we could use one word, to sum up all the traits mentioned above, it would be "loving." We must be filled with love for one another. Therefore, being a godly friend means displaying Christ's love towards others.