Currently, I’m in a season of change. My role as a wife is changing, my position in the home is shifting, and my faith is stretching. As a recovering perfectionist, let me be the first to tell you that changes in my schedule without ample notice and game planning cause me stress and anxiety. I would love to go along with the ebbs and flows of life, but something inside my heart tells me that I am insignificant if I am not doing enough. 

I used to look at other people who would take naps during the day or not volunteer to take on more as lazy. However, over the last three years, I have come to the following conclusion: If the things on your plate have been put there by you and not by God, then you need to reevaluate your priorities and align yourself with Christ’s plan for your life. 

Seriously, take a close look at everything on your plate, everything going on in your life, your responsibilities, hobbies, and commitments. How much of it results from your doing, and how much of it is from God?

Most things on my plate exist because I’ve put them there. I’ve piled them on top of my already full plate. As a result, I get waves of anxiety, start worrying over my various commitments and become very well aware that I cannot do it all. A very loving mentor once told me that I feel like I can’t do it all because when it comes down to it, not all of what I am doing is from my heavenly Father.

Ouch! Boy, was my ego bruised, but ultimately, a loving and truthful word helped me refocus my life again. Yes, I go through seasons of change, doubt, upheaval, and waiting. However, this refinement process is a normal part of our Christian walk, not to mention spiritually beneficial. Therefore, we must stop treating this growth process as taboo or prohibited in the Christian life and start being honest about our struggles and embrace the seasons of change and redirection with open arms.

After many sleepless nights of wondering how I could adjust my life and rely more on God’s grace amidst the commitments and responsibilities on my plate, five simple truths smacked me in the face. Although applying these truths has been a work in progress, I can tell you from first-hand experience that they have greatly benefited my spiritual walk. 

Here are five ways I recommend to help you rely more on God’s grace:

1. Check Your Emotions 

Galatians 5:13-26 is jam-packed with truths and reflections about the true meaning of Christian freedom and our new life in the Spirit. When we allow the natural emotions of our sinful nature to rule our life, at least for me, things appear to go wrong and to be more complicated than they need to be. However, since Christ has set us free, our way of life should be Spirit-controlled, not oriented to what our natural self yearns.

Therefore, I am free when I surrender to the Holy Spirit’s guidance and correction! I am free to emulate a Spirit-driven life of mutual love and service instead of defining myself by the world’s values and unreasonable standards. I am free to confidently live out my purpose by helping other women, especially mothers in the thick of motherhood, find peace, strength, and grace to persevere in their Christian walk. 

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2. Focus on What God Has Asked of/Given You 

Is it not true that we often are focused on the next big thing? The next accomplishment? The next event? The next obstacle? But what if we shift our focus and start concerning ourselves with what God has asked us to do? What if we dedicated our efforts toward serving him to the best of our ability? What if we used our time to pursue his purpose for our lives? 

It’s normal for us all to get off course at times from God’s intended path for our lives. But the actual test of your faith lies in our response. When you get off track and lose focus, do you return to God and pursue the path he has appointed for you, or do you give up? One of my favorite passages in God’s word reminds me that no matter what the world says, how bad my situation, or what direction I have chosen to pursue in life, I need to ensure that my life aligns with God’s plan for he is alone is my true Lord. He alone will reward my efforts with an eternal inheritance in heaven. So then, when battling what I know to be true, God extends his grace by gently guiding and waiting for me to refocus my life on him.

Colossians 3:23-24 - “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

 3. Release Yourself From the World’s Standards

1 John 2:15 - “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”

You may think that you don’t love the things of this world. However, you may be idolizing certain things without fully realizing it. For example, are you trying to be like the influencer on social media? What are you seeing and feeling is an attainable goal? Ask yourself, “What is the object of your love and affection?” As Christians, we must be careful that our love is oriented towards the right things and acts in a way compatible with our confession of faith.

Since Christ’s kingdom is at war with the kingdom of this world, the two will never coincide peacefully. Therefore, realizing the futility of worldly pursuits and releasing ourselves from the standards of today’s culture is necessary if we expect to follow Christ wholeheartedly. Letting go of those things we’ve grown accustomed to is a continuous struggle for many, including myself. However, the key to overcoming this struggle is knowing deep within our hearts that the world is not the standard; Christ is our perfect standard.  

Of course, we will never be perfect. Our sinful nature has a way of showing its ugly head from time to time. However, since God has granted us unconditional love and grace through Jesus, should we not strive to depend on the Spirit as he empowers us to emulate Christ’s character? After all, he is the Alpha and the Omega! He has given us new life and called us to be his representatives in a lost world. So let us pledge our allegiance and love to our Lord instead of pursuing worldly things. Let’s start living out our new identity in Christ by walking in a manner worthy of our new status as God’s beloved daughters. 

4. Set Reasonable Expectations

This truth has been one of the most challenging for me to implement. For example, I am a list writer and uber planner and do not like to go off course. Are you like that too? Do you have grandiose plans for your day, month, or year and then realize you are behind as you start to plug and chug through that game plan?

Here is my pro-tip! STOP IT! Yup, mind-blowing, and you’ve probably never thought of that, right? Breaking bad habits and setting realistic expectations for yourself is challenging, but you can do it by relying on God’s grace! At times, you may feel overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities. You may even think God has given you more than you can handle. However, God may have allowed an overwhelming situation to arise in your life for you to realize your need for him. Furthermore, it may be that those things on your plate causing you anxiety are not from God. But, remember, if you have devoted yourself to following Christ, then whatever is on your plate is from him. And if it’s from him, there’s no need to fret, for he will sustain you by the power of his grace. 

As you read this, I want you to take a few minutes to jot down everything you have going on in your life, the things you are involved with, and your responsibilities. Once you’ve done that, rank them from most important to least. Finally, pray over the list and ask Jesus to reveal what you need to release and turn over to him. I will tell you that this work of letting go won’t be easy, my friend, because you will feel like you are letting people down; you will fill this struggle internally. But remember, this uncomfortable feeling is normal, not to mention spiritually beneficial, because you are releasing control of those unnecessary burdens in your life and allowing Christ to set you free from the constraints holding you back from your purpose.   

 5. Learn To Embrace Your mistakes and, Yes, Your Failures 

Christ is perfect. Not me, not you! I may be preaching to myself more so on this one, but we cannot hold ourselves to such a high standard; perfection. I like to look at it like this: when a baby starts to walk, they fall constantly, and then they get right back up and try again until they get it. So why is it that when we fall in life, we are so quick to throw in the towel?

Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

If you read this verse carefully, you’ll notice that it doesn’t say anything about giving up when times are tough or cursing your difficult situation. Instead, it says we can do all things with Christ’s help! You may think, “but that’s not entirely true.” But I assure you that it is! If your commitments and responsibilities in life align with God’s will, then you can tackle the task ahead of you with hope because you are relying on HIM. That’s the point! Your contentment and strength come not from depending upon yourself or anything else but from your sole dependence on God alone. His grace is all you need! However, if what is on your plate is not from him, it will feel like a constant battle, causing unnecessary stress and anxiety. 

Wow! So if you’ve made it this far, then I know you will dedicate yourself to implementing and improving your spiritual walk with these five tips. Friend, we are rooting for you, and know God has a plan for your life. Now stop holding yourself to such high standards and being so hard on yourself. Instead, understand God’s purpose for your life and rely on his grace, for he will sustain you and bring his plan for your life to fruition. 

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