Loneliness
Writing on a blog topic that resonates so deeply in one’s heart can feel somewhat reflective. Still, I can also see how this topic is not incredibly unique to my personal experience but a common occurrence among many. To be lonely may not be an admittance one would be so openly willing to share with others, whether out of fear of not wanting to be judged or out of pride of not liking to be exposed or pitied. However, the reality is that loneliness is a worldwide phenomenon. Loneliness occurs when one lacks genuine and meaningful connectedness with other individuals. In a 2021 national survey of American Adults in the US conducted by Harvard University, 36% of respondents reported experiencing significant loneliness. That percentage is over one-third of the US population. How one gets to the eventual point of undergoing a severe state of loneliness can stem from a myriad of reasons. We have all experienced some form of loneliness to one degree or another, and ultimately, what we all feel in those moments of isolation and heartache is the resounding sense that on this side of life, nothing will ever satisfy our longing souls apart from the comforting balm of the Creator God who can bare our griefs and carry our sorrows (Isa. 53:4).
As Christians, we are, on the one hand, blessed with the joyous experience of our salvation but, on the other hand, are subjected to life’s challenges and hardships, such as loneliness. This seemingly paradoxical experience of blessing and aloneness is an inescapable reality; it's a reality that requires perseverance, but only by preparing our hearts adequately. The Scriptures teach us that “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all” (Psa. 34:19). Thankfully, God does not leave us to fend for ourselves in our vulnerable position. Instead, he promises to give us a Helper, who will be with us forever, “even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him” (Jon. 14:16-17). John also reminds us in the second half of verse seventeen that although the world does not know the Helper, we, as Christians, know Him because He dwells with us and will be in us. This passage of Scripture is worthy of continual meditation in our times of loneliness. What a remarkable truth for the Christian to grasp, what an astounding reality that we are not left alone (Jon. 14:18). This wonderful truth from John’s gospel account should bring us much comfort, relief, and consolation in God our Savior.
By the Lord providing us with a Helper, the Spirit of truth, we are automatically ushered into His family. Furthermore, we are provided with the gift of fellow Christian brothers and sisters who have an obligation to encourage us in our faith (Heb. 10:25). In our times of loneliness, we can tap into this unending reserve of fellowship. The provision of a godly community is one of the many resources God has supplied us out of His great abundance and love. I hope that by considering some of the resources mentioned below, you can begin the journey to overcome the feelings of loneliness and renew your hope in God and His promises over your life. Remember, the Lord goes before you; he will be with you and will not leave nor forsake you. Do do not fear or be dismayed in your times of loneliness (Deut. 31:8).
1. In Your Loneliness, Seek God’s Presence
In Romans 12:12, we are encouraged to “Rejoice in hope, to be patient in tribulation, and to be constant in prayer.” In times of loneliness, we can seek God’s presence through these means, as well as Bible reading and praise. As we are given the benefits of salvation, we are given the benefits of God’s divine power (2 Pet. 1:3). We are taught in scripture that God’s divine power has “granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence” (2 Pet. 1:3). Through our salvation, we have access to God's presence through the aforementioned means of His grace. There is no need to seek worldly solutions to help quench our loneliness. He bids everyone who thirsts to come to Him and asks why we spend our resources on that which does not satisfy ( Isa. 55:2). He instructs us to listen diligently to Him, to eat what is good, and to delight ourselves in rich food, to incline our ear and come to Him, and to hear that our souls may live (Isa. 53:3). God Himself will satisfy our weary souls. He promises to replenish every languishing soul (Jer. 31:25). In times of loneliness, our only genuine need is to seek God Himself and His divine power.
2. Engage in Fellowship With Other Believers
The book of Hebrews encourages us to “consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but to encourage one another, and all the more as we see the Day drawing near” (Heb. 10:24-25). As previously mentioned, we have a reserve of resources in fellowship with our Christian brothers and sisters who have an obligation to encourage us in the faith. We can tap into this reserve because God provided it out of His great abundance and love for us. Godly community is a safe place to openly share our struggles with other Christians who can support and encourage us. This kind of community also provides an opportunity to seek advice from mature believers who have experienced and overcome loneliness. Their helpful insights and personal experiences can stir us up to continually grow in this area of our lives. In fact, the very admittance and level of transparency we offer through sharing our struggles may bring others closer to forming meaningful relationships with us.
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3. Serve Others by Using Your Gifts to Bless Others
In Peter’s first epistle, we are reminded that “above all we are to keep loving one another earnestly, and that as we have received a gift to use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace” (1 Pet. 4:8-10). As you consider your unique experiences of loneliness and receive comfort through it, consider how you can expand your opportunities to serve others through the gifts God has given you. Have you sought to be available to serve and meet the needs of your fellow church members? In 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 we read that God “comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we are comforted by God.” Faithful service and one’s abundance of love shown to others often provide a renewed perspective by helping to minimize one’s own needs over the needs of others. God’s many blessings and joy-filled provisions are often showered upon us this way!
4. Practice Gratitude and Joy in the Lord
In Proverbs 15:3, we read, “A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.” In times of loneliness, we must learn to practice gratitude and cultivate joy in our hearts for the Lord. You can do this by thanking and rejoicing in God for what he has done for you and for the many blessings He has given you throughout your life. We see this same theme of rejoicing in Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi when he exhorted them and us to “rejoice in the Lord always” (Phil 4:4). Rejoicing is an effort that takes diligence of heart. As we seek God in prayer with our supplications and thanksgivings, we are promised that His peace, “which surpasses all understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:4-7). Make it your aim to practice gratitude by thanking God each day for each individual blessing and consider His overall faithfulness in your life.
If loneliness has been your personal experience, then be encouraged to earnestly seek the Lord in the hope that He will see you through it. Hold fast the confession of your hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful (Hebrews 10:23).