How to Overcome Loneliness with Gratitude
It's that time of the year again when the nights are cold, and the lattes are hot, but we sense something is missing or out of place. Our hearts don't feel the season's warmth as we initially hoped.
We're all familiar with how Social Media tends to overdramatize peoples' personal lives, especially around the holidays. So often, we see pictures of couples and families spending time together sipping coffee, taking cute selfies, or being in love. Of course, many of us are glad to see the love shared between families and couples. But for some of us, it hurts to see this, especially when our lives look so different in comparison. It hurts because community and connection are things we deeply long for in our hearts. So how do we give thanks during our lonely seasons?
I've experienced immense seasons of loneliness in the past. My father passed away when I was only 22 years old, and I was not prepared to handle such a profound loss and stricken grief, let alone anyone at such a young age. As a result of his passing, I felt isolated and lonely. I was unsure of how to process what I was going through. Eventually, years later, I underwent biblical counseling, and the tools I gained through that experience have helped tremendously. Not only did I learn how to process my grief healthily, but I also learned how to rise above my loneliness. To overcome my sorrow and aloneness, I needed to realign my focus from my painful situation to God's goodness and ever-loving presence in my life.
Knowing that I was not alone gave me such peace, and sister, you are not alone in your season of loneliness either. Did you know that many people in the Bible experienced loneliness at some point in their lives? Even Adam, the first man who walked with God in the Garden of Eden, felt a sense of loneliness, and God said it was not suitable for man to be alone. (Genesis 2:18). As Adam began to serve as God's representative by naming the animals, he was made even more aware that he was alone. God created him as a "social being," and solitude was a severe problem. However, God would rectify the situation! He made a suitable helper for him, an equal partner. The woman God made would supply what he lacked, and the man would provide what she lacked. Together they would be complete and just right for each other to fulfill God's plan. And so, God understands our need for connection! He knows why you long for community and relationships. He created you with those desires and longings.
Take, for example, the eternal love shared between the members of the Godhead. God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit coexist perfectly. Each person in the Trinity has a unique role in the one divine plan of salvation. The Father appointed our salvation, the Son accomplished our salvation, and the Spirit applies our salvation to our hearts. No one is competing or trying to outshine the other person. There's perfect love and unity within the one true and living God. When we look to worldly things to fill the emptiness of our hearts rather than looking to be filled with the eternal love of the Triune God, it will leave us frustrated, lonely, and defeated.
When we feel lonely, we tend to only think of ourselves and our lack. Taking the time each day to be intentional about what we are thankful for not only stirs in us a revived outlook, but thankfulness also draws our attention away from the temporary and directs our thoughts to an eternal perspective.
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Currently, I'm reading through the book of Numbers. I've been amazed by the similarities we share with the Israelites. In many ways, they're just like us. They thought God had forgotten them as they traveled through the wilderness. Yet, God was there every step of the journey, giving them fresh manna from heaven daily. They complained that their wandering throughout the wilderness was taking too long. However, God had a purpose for the waiting season. He used that time to prune a people ready to enter the promised land. He desired to create in the hearts of his children (Israelites) a robust, secure, and stable faith in Him. Yet, they could only focus on their lack and loneliness in a fleeting season.
As for us, when we walk through painful and lonely seasons, we find ourselves behaving the same way the Israelites did in the wilderness. We tend to put too many demands on people, which leaves our hearts injured when they fall short of that demand. We lose faith so quickly when we can't see immediate results to our problem or find quick relief from our sorrow. When Moses reminded the people of their hardships, and all God had accomplished for them, their hearts changed. They realized just how dire their situation was and the great mercy God showed them. The only appropriate response was to give God thanks. If you want to avoid the intense frustration from internalizing your grief, start giving thanks to God.
When loneliness wants to catapult our hearts into its web of lies, we can overcome it with gratefulness. Remember sis, you are never truly alone. God is with you always!