I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t (Book Review)
Confronting my trust issues and insecurities was not on my BINGO card for 2025. Allowing our hearts to be vulnerable for healing is a difficult place to go, especially when we're just trying to survive the demands of everyday life. One of my goals for this year was to build a community that supports other ministries in sharing the hope of Jesus Christ. So, when Front Gate Media reached out to ask me to share my thoughts on Lysa TerKeurst's new book, I decided to live out what I always preach and say yes to God. I'm so thankful I did!
Through this journey, I found myself confronting the places in my heart where deep hurt had taken root, growing into a bitter flower of poison that affected every area of my life—how I viewed others and even God. Thankfully, I had a mentor who had walked this rough road before me and had laid out the path to freedom so clearly.
Here are three powerful truths to live out from “I Want To Trust You, But I Don’t” by Lysa TerKeurst.
Truth Number One: Red Flags and the Roots of Distrust (Chapter Three)
Lysa explains that when she hears the term red flag, she instantly thinks of the warning flags at the beach—those that caution you not to go into the water. They serve as a warning to avoid danger. For me, when I think of red flags, I picture the flags waved in war—signals of surrender after a battle has been waged for far too long.
In relationships, however, red flags are how our discernment warns us to watch out. Lysa writes, “Most of the time, I will start to have a gut feeling of discernment that just keeps prickling at my thoughts but won’t go away. I’ve always described discernment as a deep knowing.”
Discerning people make it their mission to live from a place of wisdom rather than wishful thinking. If we desire to live wisely, we must practice utilizing our discernment. Lysa discusses 11 red flags in her book—here are five of them:
Red Flag #1: Inconsistency
Their behavior and mood change drastically depending on the circumstances.
Red Flag #2: Self-Centeredness
They keep conversations focused on themselves and rarely check up on you.
Red Flag #3: Insecurity
They are easily offended, believing everything has a deeper, negative meaning toward them. They constantly look for reasons to prove you don’t care for them.
Red Flag #4: Immaturity
They lack self-awareness and are emotionally tone-deaf.
Red Flag #5: Inflated Sense of Self
They treat you like a child and feel the need to put you in your place.
If we don’t address the red flags we see in others or confront the issues within our hearts, these problems won’t resolve themselves—they will only grow deeper, turning into serious trust issues.
Truth Number Two: How Can I Trust God When I Don’t Understand What He Allows? (Chapter Six)
It’s hard to trust God when we’re praying for circumstances to change, for hurts to be healed, and for hope to be restored in those hollowed-out parts of our hearts—and nothing seems to happen. In moments like these, it’s easy to tie our disappointment to God Himself, concluding, “Well, this is why I don’t trust You.”
Lysa captures this struggle perfectly when she writes, “I’m realizing that I attach a great deal of my trust in God to my desire for things to turn out like I think they should” (pg. 94).
Learning to trust God means surrendering our desire for control and believing that His plans are good—even when we don’t understand them. It’s about embracing the mystery of faith and letting go of the need to have all the answers.
Truth Number Three: The Secret to Really Healing (Chapter Ten)
What’s so heartbreaking about unexpected trauma caused by those we love is that we never wanted our story about them—or about ourselves—to turn out this way. We never wanted to say, “We used to be best friends, but they betrayed me,” or, “We are family—same blood, shared DNA—but they blindsided me into believing I could trust them only to steal money from me.” It’s devastating when someone we love steals a piece of our life that we can never get back.
Lysa captures this pain so well when she writes, “Maybe the secret to really healing is to change the end goal. Instead of expecting the healing work to return me back to how I was before, I could let the healing make me into a healthier version of myself. Instead of focusing on all that was taken from me, maybe I could shift my focus to what this new season could give me.” (pg. 171).
Here’s the secret ingredient to healing: understanding that some people will hurt you, some will heal you, and some will help you find your hope in Christ again—but none of them will ever be perfect. Learning to trust again requires us to do so slowly, wisely, and thoughtfully—rooted in the confidence that God is all-powerful and that He will lead us to the right people at the right time.
And after all the healing has taken place, we can confidently say, “I want to trust You, and now I do.”
If you are considering purchasing the book I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t here is a link for more information
*** This post is sponsored by @Frontgatemedia if you do purchase a book from the link above a small percentage will go to Her Faith Arises which we will use to continue to use to share the hope and light of Jesus Christ.***