Sit back and let me tell you about a time when I was single, lonely and desperate for a companion. It was 2007 and my long time boyfriend and I had recently broken up in the most viscous way…like he took my dog and my stuff while I was at work type of movie scene. Ladies, don’t worry I’m not going to scare you too much with my story…bottom line I got my dog back!

However, that first Valentine’s Day by myself was so depressing. It was hard seeing flowers being sent to coworkers and significant others surprising coworkers to take them to lunch. I remember sitting at my desk as a software recruiter eating a plain bagel with peanut butter and drinking a coke trying not to cry. Then *bing* my email notification went off and it was my friend, now husband, asking if I had lunch plans. Ok phew! I wouldn’t be alone! It ended up being a group of his coworkers and mine all going out for a singles lunch together. We laughed, we made fun of each other for being single and ultimately it helped keep my mind and my heart from hurting.

Later that evening, that lonely, desperate for love and affection resurfaced something fierce. It was like a bottomless ache that I could not stop. Or so I thought. I went on like that for weeks, months and even years feeling empty and alone. What I know now is that I was searching and investing my time in a physical healing of my heart and mind and not a spiritual healing from my Heavenly Father.

Isaiah‬ ‭58:11‬ ‭ESV‬ “And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.”

Looking back I’m almost embarrassed at how ridiculous I was acting when I was single. I was so focused and intent on finding true love I forgot about the one who could and can satisfy my every need. I lost sight of the importance of my walk with my Heavenly Father. Now, clearly my story shifted but it took time. It took many failed relationships because I was searching for love and companionship in the physical and not the spiritual sense. My hindsight is 20/20 and I want to give you 3 things to remember and do this Valentines Day or honestly any day you are feeling desperately empty and alone:

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1. Pray for a heart of peace

Isaiah 41:10, which says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

2. Open your Bible to the Psalms

Psalm 18:1-3 ESV “I love you, O Lord, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.”

3. Commit to keeping your focus on your Heavenly Father.

Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

When you feel alone or need to rest your soul I encourage you to remember these 3 key ideas and commit to them. If you’re like me and want to connect into worship to help refocus you then here’s a great Spotify playlist we’ve made for you: Worship + Rest

Sister, I know the feeling of the deepest ache but I’ve also experienced the feeling of abundant fulfillment that was only able to be quenched by my Heavenly Father.