Just kidding! Relationships and marriage are complicated…

I prayed for a man that would be my prince charming…yes I am in love with the idea of a knight in shining armor who would ride in on his white horse and rescue me.

Stop laughing…we’ve all been there, and ya know what?! That’s totally OK! Years ago, I was in a terrible, I mean an awful relationship with someone where I experienced a constant temptation to do what was unpleasing in the Lord’s eyes. I absolutely knew I was not living a godly lifestyle, but I was scared to break off the relationship for fear of being alone.

Yes, I have a huge fear of being alone. It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom in that relationship and walked away with a broken soul that I knew I needed first to get right in my relationship with God.

After much recovery and soul searching, God brought a pretty amazing man into my life! Okay, he’s sitting in the next room tending to our daughter, who just had four baby teeth extracted because she got our crazy genes, and well, yup, life happens. He is an amazing man, servant-hearted, would give you the shoes off his feet if you asked, be there at 2 am if you called, and most of all, loves his family and the Lord. But the irony is I didn’t see him like that for a long time. Remember, I had a prince charming complex!

No matter how much my husband did for me or our relationship, I always felt it wasn’t done “right.” I wanted him to bring me red roses at work to make me feel special, but he dropped a handful of pumpkins on my doorstep because we didn’t get to go to the pumpkin patch. He’d walk my dog Scout and play with him, but I wanted him to take me somewhere…yes I know, I know…spoiled, selfish child! I get it!

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It wasn’t until we were at the wedding of one of his dear friends that another guest looked at me and said, “You’ve got a knight right in front of you, but he’s just got a few dings and dents you can’t expect the shiny knight to exist.”

The funny thing about this guest’s comment, other than having a little too much to drink, was that he saw that we were arguing, well, I was arguing with Phil over something stupid. This guest made me realize that “perfect” doesn’t exist; I’m far from perfect, and I should see what I have right in front of me.

What I’ve learned over the last 16 years in our relationship are the following 5 things:

Love your significant other where they are not who you want them to be!
God has given you this precious person, so don’t take it for granted.
Love holds no records of wrong, so S-T-O-P cataloging and bringing up past issues.
Be grateful for what your significant other does, and don’t have unrealistic expectations.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side; it’s green where you water!

Sisters, I share this with you because our marriage has taken years to get to a peaceful place. Our strategy is simple: seek and love God first so that He can guide our relationship. Yes, we have to put in the work, and yes, it takes work, but friends, hard work produces beautiful results!

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