Not in a million years did the thought of anxiety and depression ever cross my mind as something I’d have to live with. Never did I entertain the thoughts of despair and excruciating, debilitating pain mentally. But here I am, almost four years after being diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and depression, battling some of the same issues.

I grew up very active. I was so active that there was no downtime unless I was sleeping. I remember a handful of times being so exhausted that I couldn’t keep my eyes open that I slept for hours, woke up, ate, and then went back to sleep for even longer. Little did I know I was entering a cycle of anxiety and depression. This exhaustion was my body's way of telling me, “You’re done! We can’t go on another minute.” The sleeping and lack of care as to why I was ignoring everything around me was the depression.

Fast forward to my third child, and there, I’m doing all the mom things. I’m running around taking kids to school, activities, working, keeping up with the household, and more with little to no stopping. I remember feeling off and amped up. I remember not praying, crying, and having to swallow my pride and go to my husband and ask for help. He did what any loving and caring Christian husband does; he hugged me and told me not to work myself up. “We'd figure this out,” he said. The next day, he called the doctors listed on the two-sided sheet of physicians his work gave him, and unfortunately, not one was available. One, however, felt the desperation in my husband's voice and squeezed me in on his lunch.

This doctor, I found out through my blubbering, nervous chatter, was a Christian and reassured me that this is a season and that God has a plan in this season, but I also needed to put to use the tools I’d be learning about. Honestly, I thought I would be 100% healed of the anxiety and depression that kept me staring at a wall, not wanting to get out of bed, and when I did get out of bed, I was a yelling crazy lady. But that’s not how my healing and deliverance worked. It took months of learning strategies to cope, longer to trust the process, praying at all times, and sometimes angrily praying for God to work faster because I couldn’t take it anymore. It took God no time to remind me that I was safe and never alone, for he was always with me.

My heavenly Father reminded me that He alone is my anchor during these challenging times and is greater than all the pain and suffering we ever encounter. Sometimes, I needed extra reminders of this truth because my anxiety and depression often clouded my mind and heart.

Here are three things that worked for me, and sometimes it took repetition over and over of doing just one of them even to chip off a corner of what I was feeling:

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Open up my Bible.

1 Chronicles 16:11 says, ‘Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face evermore!’ Just reading those words made me want to pray. The thought of seeking him and asking for help was key to me healing.

Pray continually.

Straight to the point we need to do what 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 tells us because without pray and communication to my Heavenly Father I don’t know where I’d be today.

Thessalonians 5:16-18 ‘Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.’

Listen and sing worship music at the top of my lungs.

During those days I couldn’t get out of bed or off the couch but still had to take care of my household. I would sing songs from this playlist I made at the top of my lungs. I remember my kids napping and singing so loudly I woke them all up and they came down and listened and tried to join in. I remember my husband waking up one morning and asking if I had eek singing or was he dreaming. I had to whenever and wherever because it was a release. The best part was God always had the right song to start and the right song to open my heart up when I needed it.

Sis, you’re not alone. Healing is hard. Healing takes time. I’m here to say I’m healing and feeling and seeing the dramatic change in my life 4 years later. Don’t get hung up on how long it takes but know that healing and deliverance come in His timing, His perfect timing.