I still remember the day when my best friend and I broke up.

I should have seen it coming. Uninvited events. Distant text messages. She moved on from our friendship, but I wasn't sure why? You know, they say "breaking up is hard to do," but I considered her a sister. So how do I cope with this?

The only person I want to process this pain with is her. And, well, we are not friends anymore. Friendships between women are unique, a real treasure of bonding that you won't ever experience in a romantic relationship. How do we go from being soul sisters to soul searching?

Soul Sister (noun) - a female friend not related by blood who shares a bond that transcends time, space, and distance

You will go through a season of pain, even if you were the one who initiated the breakup. Time heals all wounds, but here is the funny thing about time. Time does the exact opposite of what society teaches us. All along, they taught us if we allow enough time to go by, our broken hearts would mend. Well, I am sorry, time does not heal; only Jesus can heal.

Time will allow one of two things to happen: Jesus will restore your heart, or resentment will manifest. If we are going to Christ with our pain and allowing him to refresh us with his comfort, beauty will grow out of our time spent with Jesus. If we are spending our time gossiping about our old friend, then hate will take root, and bitterness will grow.

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Lysa Terkhurst said, "Bitterness, resentment, and anger have no place in a heart as beautiful as yours." Our emotions during a friend-break-up will take you on a rollercoaster ride. One moment you feel the momentum to process the hurt, and another moment you will feel the downward crash of the loss. Change is inevitable, but friendship loss always hopes to be preventable; both are overwhelming even to the most spiritually mature woman.

Jesus is constant, steadfast, not easily shaken; he will lead us along level ground. The inner stillness and peace that will come from the Holy Spirit as we fully surrender our pain to him. Jesus will restore our soul.

Psalm 23:2 NLT "He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams."

She is not the Enemy. We have a real enemy, and it is not her.

One thing the enemy loves more than anything is to divide and conquer. If he can get you alone, isolated, hating her, he has defeated you.

The pain is real; the struggle to pick yourself up and move on is real. I know! You have to rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to not gossip about her! There are always two sides to every story. We have to take responsibility for our role in the hurt.

Moving on is the most challenging part, especially if you both have the same set of friends. Set boundaries for yourself, and do the hard work by avoiding places that will trigger memories. Deleting her photos from your phone of all your favorite bestie moments will be difficult. If you are not ready for that, try moving them into a separate folder where you can not easily see them. It goes without saying that you will have to delete her from all social media.

Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

We, as women, may feel nervous in our new life without the comfort of our soul-sister. Understand that God brings people into our life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Remember the lessons you learned and never shut your heart off from loving others.

You are a good friend and worthy of being loved.